10
this is how love affairs start
you still taste like rosé
and you know what you’re doing
one hand on the back of my head,
the other sliding down past my neck
is this really happening?
— this is really happening
!!!!!
i’m lightheaded, floating
your irises are the purest blue i’ve ever seen
i don’t want to stop,
but someone could walk in at any moment
so i force myself to get up and lock the door
god, you look so good
lying across the blue pinstriped sheets,
arm propping up your head
never taking your eyes off me
deep breaths
i feel like i’m in a dream
as i climb back in next to you,
brush your cheek against mine
slide a strap off your shoulder
i’m surprised at how smooth i seem,
given that i’ve never done this before
given how nervous i am
but there’s no time to stop and think
you’re the one who stops me this time:
i shouldn’t
i have a girlfriend —
— my best friend,
though i’m not sure she’s still deserving of the title
neither of us take our hands away